Stop Dancing To Other’s Tune!!
We still remember the story of a pied piper whose tune helped some villagers to get rid of excessive rats which caused them crop damage. The pied piper’s magic tune used to leave the rats spellbound and these could easily be driven out of the village. But the same piper trapped the children of that village when he was not paid his dues by the villagers. What a fantastic childhood story it was! Sometimes I feel that we’re still dancing to the tune of the strange pied pipers whose number has increased now. We’re charmed by them and we find it almost impossible to move even our little finger as per our wish. Why are we so guided by others’ perception?
Unfortunately, we’re not aware with our own identity and wishes or desires. Today, in the morning, I met up a gentle-lady who has a wonderful personality and fluent communication skills; she belongs to a well-to-do family. She is lucky to have all the ingredients in her life which people can't even imagine for. Yet she doesn’t seem gratified with anything around her. She keeps whining about her surroundings, people or the rapidly changing scenario. Besides, she keeps repeating the tales of her negative experience frequently which shows the level of her dissatisfaction.
Folks, the above real instance manifests how we keep dancing on others’ tune and let me tell you that the term ‘other’ refers to the situation, occurrences, and the people around us. One nasty idea, one unpleasant statement by others can make us feel offensive and we lose our peace of mind. At that juncture, we stop valuing our most invaluable possession. One compliment or comment becomes so powerful that we forget about the existence of the pleasant aspects of our lives. So, it's vital to ask few questions from ourselves, such as how can others make us feel stressed or on the cloud nine? Are we so fragile and gullible that anybody can make or mar our internal pleasantness? The outside pleasantness will lose its vitality in case we don't have inside internal peace. Moreover, the constant replay and rewind of our bad memories don’t let us to be at ease. Oh Gosh! Are we going to live the rest of our lives this way? Like the dumb-driven cattle, we’re ruining our hours, days, months and years because of the petty outside factors which very often don’t matter to us.
Let’s discuss the essence of how to get in the role of the pied piper so that we could make our devastation, dejection, sorrowfulness, irritation, apprehension, hatred and jealousy to disappear on our tunes.
- We’ll have to Change Our Nature
I read somewhere that our basic nature never changes yet we can make efforts to modify our nature or habits which cause problems to us. In order to revive the peace of mind, we can take a resolution to not to contemplate over the instances or people which lead us to the unpleasant state. Though this is not that easy yet we can try.
- We Can’t Control Others But Ourselves
Why do we feel miserable because of the others’ behaviour? And who’re we to let others know that they are at fault? We can control ourselves not others. After we start believing in this wonderful philosophy, we can see the gradual but positive change in our attitude. We’ll eventually stop having loads of expectation from others.This will surely lessen our anger and annoyance for others.
- Intrinsic Motivation Can Help Us
Well, if we rely on our intrinsic motivation, we can live in a blissful state and the outside factors will surely become negligible. If we feel blissful and pleasant internally, no outside occurrence can prune our happiness. This might sound uncanny to many of us but this is the reality.
- When Self-Evaluation Is High
In the present world, we’ve trained our ears to hear nice things about ourselves. How’s it possible to expect from others to assess us the way we wish? No sooner we find anyone pointing towards our drawbacks, we become offensive. This is a ridiculous but a naked truth that we have a very high self-worth which aggravates the situation.
- At the End
Well, each and every moment of our life should be owned by us. We own our life and we should have its reign in our hands. We must decide how we wish to engineer it. So next time, when any of us ever feels unpleasant because of others’ behaviour, we'd take deep breath and would let the offender (person or incident) go and we should remind ourselves that we’ve several dreams to fulfil. In no case, we'd dance on others' tune. Since, living a life without vivacity and enthusiasm is like a life without life.